Pulled In Too Many Directions

SPEAKER_02 0:08

Have you ever found yourself in a position as a restaurant owner where you're being pulled in so many different directions that you feel like you don't have control and choice over where you spend your time and your energy and how to get in your flow state? Today I'm doing a coaching session with Brandon Sharp, who's the owner of three restaurants in Chapel Hill: Hawthorne and Wood, Bluebird, and Proximo. And we spend a significant amount of time diving into Brandon's concern about how to stay present in the moment with his team, with his own leadership, and at home when things are so chaotic and he's being pulled in so many different directions. We talk about his need and desire and pressure to know exactly what questions to ask his staff and to make sure that he has the right answers to the big important questions that are moving the business forward. We also take a deep look into what his current structure looks like and what's potentially missing in that structure in order to move the organization forward. And in the end, he comes to a really powerful realization of something that he needs to let go of in order to move himself forward and stay in his happy place and continue to develop his team and retain his long-tenured managers. Hope you enjoyed this episode.

From Chaos To CEO Leadership

SPEAKER_02 1:29

Welcome to the Restaurant Leadership Podcast, where we coach independent, multi-unit restaurant operators to build systems that drive profitability and reclaim time so they can scale with confidence and spend their time and energy where they want to, not where they have to. I'm your host, Kristen Marvin, restaurant coach and author of Multi-unit Mastery. If you are an independent restaurant owner managing multiple locations, you know the chaos that comes with growth. Inconsistent execution across your restaurants, managers who won't take ownership, constantly answering questions your team should already know the answers to. You're stuck in your current role when you want to be playing a bigger strategic role as you scale. You don't have the right leaders in place or you keep losing them. And you're not sure how to find great people and actually keep them around. We work with passionate independent restaurant owners who found success with their first few locations and are ready to scale strategically. Our clients aren't looking to just survive expansion. They want to thrive through it. They're committed to developing strong leaders and creating exceptional guest experiences. Through the independent restaurant framework that we teach in multi-unit mastery, we coach independent restaurant groups to move from chaos to confidence by focusing on three pillars people, process, and profit. You can grab a gifted copy of the book at irfbook.com. On this show, we bring you real coaching conversations, leadership strategies, and the frameworks that you need to lead like a CEO instead of operating like a worn-out manager. And here's the thing: coaching has changed our clients' businesses and can change yours too. If you've never experienced what it's like to have someone in your corner who actually gets the restaurant world, we'd love to connect. We offer one-on-one and group coaching. Head to kristinmarvin.com slash contact for a complimentary coaching session and let's talk about what's possible for your restaurant group.

Brandon’s Goal And The Right Questions

SPEAKER_02 3:46

Brandon, how can I make this an extraordinary conversation for you today?

SPEAKER_00 3:53

If I can leave it with both good questions to ask myself and also some answers, like I don't expect to come away with it with answers because I think that this is going to be a month-long and years-long and hopefully career-long project for me of figuring things out, my career, my opportunities, this company evolving. Um, but I I I want to know what are the right questions to be asking myself along the way because the things that swirl inside my head day to day, should I have a routine? Should I not have a routine? How available should I make myself? Like all the all these little things really, I think slow me down and keep me from being present with the person that's in front of me, with the guest or the cooks or whatever that's in front of me at the moment.

SPEAKER_02 4:45

So it sounds like you're asking yourself a lot of questions, but you're not quite sure if they're the right ones or not.

SPEAKER_00 4:51

Yes. I don't know if I'm asking the right questions. I don't know if I'm asking um the, yes, yeah. That's yeah, that I have I have a lot of questions. And I and I'm aware of the fact that if I stop making decisions, then I hold up everyone else's job. Like they depend on me for quick decisions. And most of the time they're not, you know, life-changing, earth-shattering, you know, huge decisions, but they're little ones that need to be made. You know, should we cut off reservations at 150 night or should or should we keep going? And um, you know, they're asking me for different reasons. Sometimes, you know, usually as the owner, you or I only get the the questions that and the issues that are really hard and no one else wants to deal with. Um, everyone in the organization is pretty well aware of what their category of decisions are, you know, what they're what what they're allowed, whether they're allowed to hire and fire people or create specials or change the menu or you know, whatever it is on those on those levels. So um it's a it's a it's a constantly ongoing process, and as our company has really, you know, thankfully, uh continued to evolve, continue to expand, and yeah, I'm I'm always uh what's the I always feel like I'm learning to fly while falling.

SPEAKER_02 6:11

Sorry, my dog chef is barking to close the door.

Presence, Flow, And Respect

SPEAKER_02 6:15

What's important to you about being really present in the moment?

SPEAKER_00 6:27

For me looking inward, that's when things slow down and there's at least the chance for a flow state. And that I used to feel that relatively often when I was working online, you know, and I'm really focused on just the equipment, the ingredients, using all five senses, which I which is my favorite thing about working in kitchens, and being part of a team. And you can just get into a flow state. That is, and so now selfishly, that's almost impossible. Um, you know, skipping from one restaurant to another, one meeting to another. Um, but that but that's all that's all personal. Externally, what's important about being present is that it shows the other person the respect that they have my um undivided attention and that that I'm only like and I know that we will both get the best out of whatever situation, whether it's an interview or a meeting about a new project, or just a one-on-one if they have my full attention. So, you know, ringer turned off, hopefully, phone is out of the room. I'm just there with my notebook and a pen, listening to them, asking them questions. And um, and yeah, and and I really try, you know, I start with the coaching technique in these one-on-ones of what's on your mind. And then I just, what else, what else, what else, what else? Until, you know, they don't realize that it is eventually making them a little uncomfortable, but not uncomfortable in the that they're squirming um or that they're really being put on the spot, but they're just really telling me things that that they may not have come into the conversation wanting to tell me, but that that we need to talk about because you know, they are my general manager or they are my executive chef at this restaurant. So that's what that's that's why I think it's important to be present those two the on those two those two phases.

SPEAKER_01 8:20

What's the impact of that?

SPEAKER_00 8:27

You're doing something to me right now, and I'm not sure what it is, but I know something's being done to me.

SPEAKER_02 8:31

Um I'm just asking to think about it.

SPEAKER_00 8:33

What's the impact of that? Good question. Um so where things so the positive impact is a man, it's it's this is kind of a negative way to put it. The positive impact is really just the tip of the iceberg that we that we continue to have good, open, honest communication so that when there is an issue, it's not a me scelling, it doesn't it's not me yelling and screaming WTF, and it doesn't feel like me yelling and screaming WTF. We both have a solid frame of reference with how to communicate with one another. So that's the positive part of it. The negative part of not um not having those interactions and not is that you know uh lack of communication leads to um you know fear and distrust and dislike and and then um you know um well I mean hatred eventually, but um, but yeah, you and and resentment. So resentment builds when to me when when when when communication with my managers breaks down. And it's all and it's always I it is always my fault.

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SPEAKER_02 9:38

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Open-Ended Questions That Unlock Ownership

SPEAKER_02 10:36

Do you feel like when you are really present with your managers, you are in a position where you are able to know exactly what questions to ask, and you're asking the right questions and you're getting the answers that you want or that you need to move the business forward?

SPEAKER_00 10:56

Yes, but I don't necessarily think it's from asking the right questions because a lot of the tactical questions, procedural or personnel questions will usually be asked via email after reading a shift recap or something like that. The ones that that I get the most out of are the the open-ended ones of what's on your mind, what else and what else. And and because that's when that's when things get uncovered that they may not even know that are bothering them, um, but that we can tease out. And that's when it really comes, I think that's when the coachable moments really come because a lot of times they 99% of the time, the managers and chefs will do the right thing. They know the right thing to do, and they would do it if I was there or not, asking me maybe a security blanket, a safety net, a formality, something like that. But, you know, I I heard heard this the other day, and and um, you know, it sounds kind of negative, but you know, uh if I were to ask them, okay, pretend I'm not here, what would you do then? And they would do the same thing. They would do the right thing that I would you know end up recommending to them anyway. So um I'm trying to get better about not needing to seem smart or look smart or sound smart to them by proving that I know the answer or affirming that that I know the answer, but trying a gentler way than that of you know turning it around to them and really giving them the um the initiative and the opportunity to um to do it themselves. It's it's very hard. When the so, for instance, last weekend we had a we Clumpson was coming to town to play UNC, restaurants were were packed, um, days were booked out days in advance, and the the reservation line here at Bluebird was hovering around 150, and we know we're gonna get another 50 walk-ins, and and 200 is when we really start to get the speed wobble here and things start to break down. And so general manager asked me via email and copied the chef and the director of operations should we shut off reservations? I said, well, one, why don't you two decide what you're capable of? Look at your schedule, look at your personnel, you know, look at the pattern that the reservations are gonna come in on, and you guys decide. I trust you to do what is best for your crew and for the business. Or two, set the line at 150. When it goes above that, toggle reservations off on Resi. When it goes below that, toggle them back on, let the reservationists know. You know, so and it was kind of felt bad about sending it because I I gave them the opportunity to do it yourself, but then I also kind of gave them the answer, and I didn't know which was the right one to do, so I did both. So I kind of kind of copped out on that one, you know.

SPEAKER_02 13:55

Yeah. What are you noticing when you're saying that?

SPEAKER_01 13:59

Um still stuck.

SPEAKER_00 14:10

I'm still stuck between being able to drift above the business and just work on the business and being in the business and still you know, wanting and and needing to pull some strings.

SPEAKER_02 14:29

What's that perspective look like for you right now, being in the business

Stuck In The Business Again

SPEAKER_02 14:35

and being stuck?

SPEAKER_01 14:35

What's that feel like for you?

SPEAKER_00 14:41

Makes me a little resentful at times, um, but it's a very short leap for me to realize that it's all my own. Nobody made me do this, nobody's not not not only is no one holding a gun to my head, like people help me get this opportunity, you know. And I read the other day that you should be grateful for the ability to work hard at the things that you've always dreamed of doing, which is exactly what I get to do, you know, every day. But this morning, like I was here early working on um everything pretzel roll that I want to do for a smoked salmon um special here at Bluebird for brunch this weekend. And so that gave me immense satisfaction. And not only is baking the most satisfying type of cooking to do um in a lot of ways, um, I just just being in an empty kitchen, getting to touch and feel and and and taste the food is something that I that I miss dearly. But that's what I am pretty sure I need to get myself out of doing so that others can do that. And so again, so that I can work on the business instead of in the business. So the question was, how does it feel to how does it feel to be in the business? What yeah, so a little, so yeah, a little resentment, but um but that resentment doesn't have a face, you know. I it just made and I just want to like stupid, stupid, stupid. Like that's how it makes me feel.

SPEAKER_02 16:08

Yeah, I mean it your energy completely shifted when you were talking about being back in the kitchen and being in that that flow state of and and I saw you and your energy be able to slow down and just really be present then of getting back to what you truly love and why you started in this industry of being able to create and and yes, do a little bit on your own, but just but just create that space for yourself to be able to grow and innovate and create and do something different.

SPEAKER_01 16:36

Yeah. I wonder there's freedom of choice in that moment, right?

SPEAKER_02 16:51

You're not being pulled into something that you have to do, or you're not, you know, you're not being distracted by questions or having to seek the right answer. You're just in your happy place, you're in your flow state, you're being able to do what you want to do in that space that you've created. What's the impact of that?

SPEAKER_00 17:09

Well,

Choice Versus Obligation As A Trigger

SPEAKER_00 17:10

I when when I when I talk to my kids, so I've got I've got three kids, 17, 15, and 12. And so when I you know they're old enough to to understand pretty um intricate and and and um involved concepts. And so when I you know, most people, not not it's I won't even start there. I want my to say that I want my kids to be happy when they grow up is you know, that that one doesn't compute of course I want them to be happy when they grow up. I think for um a lot of people who are in our circumstances of you know Western culture in the USA in the 21st century, like for a lot of us, we're we're lucky enough that happiness can be a choice, at least a certain switch that you can turn on and off. But I what what I tell them is, you know, I don't want you to work hard in high school so that you can get into a good college, so that you can have X job. I want you to work hard in high school because you will get the most out of it, you will learn the most, and you will end up with the most choices. And like that is to me, is when I'm unhappy, is when I have no choice. You know, I'm left with no choices, or I, you know, there's an there's an obligation to something that I don't want to do. And so that's what I don't want for them. And so as we as you and I talk right now, I'm thinking or realizing that maybe my maybe what maybe the tipping point for me is whether something is a choice or an obligation. And that's is it minute to minute, day to day, meeting to meeting. Maybe that is what's going on um with me in a lot of ways, and maybe I'm projecting you know that onto what I want for them. Maybe they could care less whether they have any choices or not going forward. Um, but uh, you know, maybe they all three want to go into the military where choice is taken away from them and they just have to do what they're told and and and you know, some people prefer that. But um, but yeah, maybe that's what it is for me, is that that when choice is um when choice is absent is when I revolt, especially when it comes to being in the midst of a business architecture that I have set up.

SPEAKER_01 19:32

Is freedom an important value to you?

SPEAKER_00 19:55

I don't think of it as I don't think of that in um it's hard to find a place for the word freedom within the business world or within the company or within you know the restaurant itself. Like I I think that most creative people who are in the restaurant industry do best if they have some structure. I know that I will write a better menu if you say, okay, I would you're gonna come over and and cook for 10 people at my house. I would like seven courses in the style of Southwest France, rather than, hey, I want you to come over and cook for a dinner party, here's a blank piece of paper, do whatever you want. And so, and maybe, maybe there's a you know, maybe there's an analog there to the way that I so the way that we think of the organizational pyramid at our restaurants is inverted. So I see myself at the bottom, and then if I can keep the lights on, pay the bills, make sure paychecks don't bounce, hire the right managers, sign good leases, you know, put together strong companies, find good investors, then I have done my part to support the general managers and executive chefs. And then if I can hold them accountable, and it and it goes up like that. And so, therefore, if someone has the right, all the right resources to be held accountable for their position, um, and there is a opportunity for new ideas, creative input, um, and those sorts of things within their job framework, that's where I think freedom is um is a great thing. And I also think that that freedom in a lot of a lot of these positions is earned through you know showing that you can showing that you know the rules and can live by them and teach them to others, model them for others, um, you know, before before you are going to improve on them or bend them or you know go above and beyond them.

SPEAKER_02 21:59

What's missing?

What Structure Might Be Missing

SPEAKER_01 22:25

I don't know.

SPEAKER_00 22:27

I wish I knew. And I've tried um tried an executive assistant and that became um you know more of a uh that just became more of a they just like added a task to my day because all of a sudden there was an 805 call that I had to take every day, you know, whether I needed to or wanted to or not.

SPEAKER_01 22:45

Um tried um man, what is what is missing in the structure that we built? There have been some good value ads, fractional bookkeeping, fractional AP.

SPEAKER_00 23:07

Those things have been very helpful, and those have helped me to outsource the really just wrote administrative tasks that had to be done and have to be done, and now um you know they're done by somebody who does them better than me and more thoroughly and you know dovetails easily with our accountants during tax season.

SPEAKER_01 23:30

Um what is missing? What is missing?

SPEAKER_00 23:38

Um I you I think sometimes I feel like a big fish in a small pond, and then I think that what is missing is you know my lack of um yeah, what's missing is that I don't know what I don't know, and I'm constantly finding out, right? Um, and so that's uh there's there's there are corners I wish that I could see around. No one in the operation has you know anywhere near the amount of experience that I do, um which allows me to lead them, allows them to trust me. Um, but it also means that I make mistakes and sometimes glaring ones, and you know, it it happens in in front of everybody. And um, you know, it it doesn't happen often. It doesn't happen in a in a in a way that threatens anyone's career or the business or or anything like that. But um yeah, I think sometimes I wish I was a little bit more complete, but I don't know how I would have I think that that's what I'm in the process of of doing now. And so now I'm much more complete as a leader, owner, manager, chef than I was six years ago when we started Hawthorne and Wood. I mean, I can't believe all the stuff that I didn't know then. Um, you know, but as we you know, as we try to expand the business, and I, you know, this week I'm gonna be taking a crash course and um you know setting up a restaurant real estate deal because I've never done that before, and hopefully that's on the horizon for us. So, you know, it's it's those sort of things. You know, I'm I'm transparent with our staff, I'm transparent with our managers, I'm transparent with our investors. Um you know, but this will be me talking to investors, you know, whose fortunes I some of my I are kind of incredible, and and me trying to talk to them in a knowledgeable manner about real estate deals that I'm sure some of them have done hundreds of times. So, you know, there are things like that that are um you know still a struggle for me to figure out um along the way. So so maybe that's what's missing, um, you know, is just more more experience for me. But I don't think that we're missing, I never want to be top heavy with salaries. You know, I I want to surround myself with experts, but I don't want this heavy safety net of, you know, there's no reason for us to have a freaking CFO and an HR manager and uh, you know, there's just like like that. I don't know. I I well, first of all, it's restaurants with thin margins. We need to run lean.

SPEAKER_01 26:18

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 26:18

Um and second of all, I feel like some of that would hinder me rather than than help.

SPEAKER_02 26:23

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 26:25

What would your business look like if you infused a little bit more vulnerability into your leadership? Ooh, more vulnerability?

SPEAKER_00 26:42

I uh Yeah, I try to be I try to be good, and I think I am good about you know admitting when I'm wrong and admitting it, you know, in front of in front of everyone. Um a little bit more vulnerability would probably help others be more forth, becoming frank, honest, and admitting of their own mistakes. You know, when it's when we're in the moment when we're in service, when you're we're going a full-till boogie in the kitchen, I can still be pretty direct with people. Um, but when the moment has passed when I'm reading shift reports and recaps and guest feedbacks early in the morning, I'm much better now, and I think I still continue to improve at giving our team the benefit of the doubt because they are an elite group, especially there, they're you know, elite groups of restaurant workers, asking them for their side of the story, asking them if this is the way that they remember this interaction with the guest going, um asking them what they think that that we should do. Yeah, um, you know, so that is a that's an ongoing evolution for my pro for me.

SPEAKER_01 28:09

But I'm I'm I'm wary.

SPEAKER_00 28:17

I'm much less I was much more wary of always needing to seem like the authority and the expert, you know, whether it was guest relations or cooking or HR or marketing or whatever it was. Now I'm much more comfortable. Hey, you know, so I asked our I asked our manager at Proximo, you know, this is not a decision that gets made at his level, but I asked him his input before I asked the other the other two directors, do you think we should do a pre-theater dinner every night at Proximo as opposed to only nights when there are plays at the Carolina you know theater for the performing arts? You all want to get his input on it from the ground level. Um, you know, and and so yeah, it's uh I think that there's a great deal of me when I think back on it in my days as sous-chef, chef de cuisine. And in those roles, when things were handed down to me by someone who was no longer boots on the ground but but was an expert, um, and and whereas I knew a slightly better way. And then when I went to work at Solage, the the general manager there, Richard Hill, you know, was a very strong leader, but he also treated each director around the table of those executive meetings as if they were running their own business. Director of HR, director of spa, maintenance, FMB, rooms, and everything. And um and so it was challenging, but he knew that he was a he was an expert in spa. He was an expert in guest services, but he was not an expert in engineering or in FMB. And so he would, you know, ask really, really good questions so that he could pull pull the expertise and the and the um opinions out of us and try to get us to come to these conclusions on our own. And you know, what I've what he found that that did, and now what I find that does is that encourages the manager who has contributed those thoughts and helped make that decision to have more ownership of it, and therefore they're much more likely to put it into practice and hold that as a new standard. Just like you know, when a sous-chef puts his own dish on the menu as opposed to one of mine, he is locked in on making sure that dish is perfect every time it goes out.

unknown 30:56

Yeah.

Quick Favor: Ratings And Reviews

SPEAKER_02 30:58

Hey there, podcast friends. I hope you're enjoying these impactful conversations and leadership insights I'm bringing you each week. Before we dive back into today's episode, I want to take a moment and reach out and ask a small favor that would go a long way in supporting the show. If you've been loving the content I'm providing, please take a moment to leave a rating and review wherever you listen to your podcast. Not only does it make my day, but it also plays a pivotal role in helping the show grow. Your reviews boost my visibility, attract new listeners, and encourage exciting guests to join me on the mic. So if you want to be part of my show's growth journey, hit that review button and let me know what you think. Thanks a million for being awesome listeners.

Letting Go Of Needing To Be Right

SPEAKER_02 31:46

When we started this conversation, you were putting a lot of pressure on yourself to make sure you could find the great questions. You always knew the great questions to ask in certain scenarios and find the answers. And I wonder how that pressure that you're putting on yourself is also showing up with your leadership team.

SPEAKER_00 32:07

Yeah, I'm I don't have much of a uh much of a poker face. And like last night at last night at Proximo, I was I was working service, but I had just gotten a couple of phone calls during the afternoon. One was a very positive opportunity, one was very negative equipment situation that was going to be expensive and and um pressing for time and just dealing with those. And then at Proximo, I mean, I have six guests sitting three feet from me, literally, you know, wanting you know, a couple glasses of wine, a couple have a couple glasses of Rioja, they want to talk to the chef. Like, I don't, I just want to shut down and cook and and and be done and go deal with this other stuff. And so um, yeah, being being present um is is not always the easiest thing for me. And so then, you know, when I don't have much of a poker face and the workers see me exasperated, I'm aware of it, and it lets them and it's not an affectation. Like I I can't control it. I just don't like I get upset, I get frustrated, you know, I don't take it out on them, I don't call them names, I don't I don't I don't do any of that stuff, but uh, but uh, you know, it um might have my head in my hands or um or something like that, and uh you know I I I I think that is probably a little demoralizing for them.

SPEAKER_01 33:46

At least they know that I'm human.

SPEAKER_00 33:49

Um, you know, one time at Solaj, I walked by one of the uh sales managers, and um I was laughing about something. Um, and she said, don't smile, you'll you'll ruin your reputation. So um I think that I look really serious a lot of time at work, and um that's not me being angry or even being stern, that's just me focusing and sometimes on you know something that's that's far away because I struggle to be present. But um, you know, I I'm a pretty I was gonna say I'm a pretty open book. I'm not sure that's the case, but um but I don't think I'm difficult for the staff to read.

unknown 34:37

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 34:39

One thing that I learned very early on when I was taking my coaching courses was something that was really empowering. My I I when I was in my program, I I wanted to know what question I needed to ask during every coaching session. Wanted to make sure it was the right question, wanted to make sure it landed 100% of the time, and then I knew exactly where the coaching session was gonna go. And I quickly realized, just like service every single night, you know when the door's open, you know when the door is closed, but you have no idea how that shift is gonna go. 100%, right? You can put all the structures and the systems in place and the great team and all that, but you've still got all these guests coming in every single night and a different team every single night. But what I learned in my coaching courses is that if 50% of the questions that I ask clients land, that's great.

SPEAKER_01 35:35

And it's okay for me to say in moments I don't know what question to ask right now. What's coming up for you when I say that? I

Slowing Down To Build Real Trust

SPEAKER_01 36:12

think that the key for me of these open communications with my managers is having the scheduled meeting.

SPEAKER_00 36:23

Because even when it's something good or just a question that even when it's good feedback that I want to give them or an earnest question that I want to ask them in person, you know, and and not via email, and I ask them for a meeting, like immediately, like the you know, the defenses go up.

SPEAKER_01 36:41

And so that is you know, because sometimes I mean it it sucked. Like I've had to I've had to release four general managers in the past four years. Um and those are ones where you just have to go, hey, um, let's go sit down. I need to speak to you. Yeah. But I but I am not a talkative person, and so I'm not the one initiating a lot of conversations.

SPEAKER_00 37:32

It takes effort for me to do the things that I think really, or not really, do the things that I think really help. Said it anyway, grease the skids of relationships with especially my managers, you know, and this is usually sous chefs that I see in the morning, of of an instead of coming in, you know, and going standing up at the bar, opening up my laptop, and starting right in on the day's work, of stopping, talking to the sous chef, put away some produce with him, have a cup of coffee, and just catch up. And I guess I wish I knew like there was some sort of like video game display when it was like, how many points is that worth? You know?

SPEAKER_02 38:24

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 38:24

Because I think that that I'm because no, but I'm thinking back and I'm like, when I worked at French Laundry, nobody ever, you know, the owner didn't come and do that. When I worked at a restaurant Gary Danko, the owner didn't come and do that. When I worked at a restaurant August, sometimes, you know, the executive chef there, an owner, would come in and bullshit with me and do that. And that was, you know, somebody I had a great relationship with and still do to this day. And so, you know, there's something, even though I it's my natural mentality to not do that and discount that, um, that's something that it's not unpleasant, but I see it as inconvenient, where I should see it as probably an essential job function, you know, and it probably has as much or more, or maybe less, but it probably has you know a similar effect as the one-on-ones do of keeping the lines of communic communication open and it and even more than that, detracting from any sort of fear, resentment, disaffection, anything like that that the person may have. Because you know, he if I if I blaze right by with a curt good morning, and I'm hearing myself, I'm describing myself doing something that I unfortunately do pretty often, with a curt good morning, go straight to the bar top, open up my laptop, and go straight to work. He may just feel like a factotum, you know, and just another um worker bee.

SPEAKER_01 40:00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 40:04

But it's tough for me to it's tough for me to slow down and do that. You know, among other things, on the drive to on the eight-minute drive to work, I've already got a list going in my head of stuff that I'm behind on that I need to get in there and freaking bang out. So so yeah.

SPEAKER_02 40:21

Yeah. I wonder what kind of delegation would come out of those one-on-ones and what kind of empowerment would come out of those one-on-ones.

SPEAKER_00 40:31

Yeah, I I I do too. Um, the you know, most of them are with pretty long-standing employees, you know, and and the person I'm thinking of right now, you know, hasn't has an expert at the position above his, who probably isn't going anywhere. So there's no real chance for upward upward mobility, you know, just got a big raise, has a has a you know, 55-hour work week and a and a full full load of work. So I think probably strengthening that relationships, emotional ties is probably the best thing. And then from that would probably evolve of his own ideation and volition some ideas for delegation. Because that's that's what I at the level of a lot of my managers who have, you know, so I can think of several who have been here, been with us three, four, and five years. I'm at the point now of needing them to realize that they can do that they've gotten more efficient, you know, doing the same job, doing the same duties relatively for three, four, or five years. I need them to step forward, you know, start to hold themselves to a higher standard and say, hey, I can take on more. What can I take off your plate? And I I heard this, man, who did I hear this from the other day? Oh, Scott Galloway. You know, he's doing one of one of his advice podcasts, and somebody called in and said, you know, I'm just starting my entry-level position out of college or whatever. And he said, if you want to move ahead, go to your boss, find out his least favorite task, and ask how you can do that for him. You know, make yourself indispensable to him in that way. And I thought that was such a fantastic, fantastic take. I would freaking love it if somebody did that for me.

SPEAKER_02 42:19

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 42:21

Love it.

The Realization: You Cannot Do Both

SPEAKER_01 42:22

What are you taking away from this conversation today? I need to figure out how to make some of these self-realizations uh stick.

SPEAKER_00 42:43

You know, and not just be I'm gonna get up and meditate in the morning ten minutes, and you know, once every three weeks, it's a fantastic session where I'm uh fully present, not thinking about the day, not thinking about what I'm gonna make the kids for breakfast, and truly present, right?

SPEAKER_01 43:04

And and reach another state.

SPEAKER_00 43:07

And then it ends, wake up the kids, feed the dogs, feed the kids, let's get out the door for for school.

SPEAKER_01 43:17

So what can I take from this conversation that is going to last? It's gonna it's gonna stick with me. I think I I think it's twofold because I what I realized last night was that I cannot commit myself to this.

SPEAKER_00 43:46

I mean, it was only, you know, it wasn't even a full kitchen workday. It was eight hours in the kitchen. You know, my day had started five hours before my work day had started five hours before that, but it was eight hours in the kitchen of that I could not walk away from that station. I was fully responsible for that kitchen from prep to staff meal to service to to shut down and you know, orders and everything. And I just don't have I can do that, I can do that, or I can run the businesses and maintain relationships with the other professionals in this organization and treat them as they deserve to be treated. I cannot do both. And that's what was had me pulling out my hair last night. There's, I mean, right before service, I almost turned to the manager. I was like, look, I cannot make any more decisions today. You have to, and that is, and you have to stop asking me questions. I don't want to talk to any guests, I don't want to hear anything, which is the absolute worst thing for me to do, you know, as the owner and the leader, but that's the point that I was at um having been spread so thin. So I think what I would like to do, and that thought about this late last night after I got home and was decompressing, was probably have a summit with all of my executives, explain to them what I'm planning to do going forward for the business, the reasons that I cannot cover these shifts anymore. And now, after this conversation, I can reasonably and comprehensively and comprehensively explain to them why it is in their best interest that I not do those shifts anymore. And that, you know, on a personal, on a personal level, I can slow down and stop and have a coffee and put away some produce, talk to them about this, and come work on a special.

SPEAKER_01 45:53

Yeah. Is it uncomfortable?

SPEAKER_00 45:57

No, it feels great.

SPEAKER_02 45:58

Okay, good, good. You talked about earlier keeping your long-tenured managers engaged and managing their workload, their productivity, but helping them understand what they can start to delegate and letting go of some things. And what you're talking about is modeling that behavior for them. And there's a lot of vulnerability in that and saying, I've got to let go of this. And here's what here's what this looks like going forward, and here's what I need from you all, because this is what I need for me. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 46:28

Yeah.

Modeling Delegation And Closing

SPEAKER_02 46:29

That's great. Great job, Brandon. Thank you for your time. I appreciate it.

SPEAKER_00 46:34

Yeah, I enjoy that immensely. Thanks.

SPEAKER_02 46:36

Good.

SPEAKER_00 46:36

Never I never talk that much. I never talk about myself that much. So that was uh that was delightful.

SPEAKER_02 46:41

Good. I'm so glad. Thank you for your time. Really, thank you for diving into this so deeply and and coming on the show. Really um appreciate you helping me introduce this concept of coaching to to the hospitality industry. So um your restaurants look absolute, absolutely gorgeous and stunning, and I can't wait to get out there to North Carolina and check it out. So um, that is gonna do it for us this week, everybody. Please share this episode with anyone in the industry that you know who could benefit. And we'll talk to you next week.