What You’ll Learn Today

Show Intro And Audience Pain Points

Why “How’s It Going?” Fails

From Avoidance To Adoption

The $75,000 Turnover Problem

Mindset Shift On Talent And Retention

Real Wins From Rolling Out One-On-Ones

Introducing One-On-Ones Without Fear

Time, Consistency, And Rollout Plan

Five Questions That Change Everything

Case Study: Zero Manager Turnover

Your 15-Minute Challenge And Next Steps

Coaching Offers And Closing

SPEAKER_00 0:07

I used to dread one-on-ones. Not because I didn't care about my team, I cared deeply. But as an introvert, the idea of sitting down and intentionally asking somebody hard questions felt awkward and forced. I told myself that I didn't really need them. I was on the floor, I was visible, and I knew my people. I didn't know my people. I was getting the highlight reel, the polished version, the everything's fine version. And by the time I found out what was actually going on, it was usually too late. This episode is the conversation I wish someone had pulled me aside and had with me 20 years ago. By the end of this conversation, you're gonna walk away with three things today. One, what one-on-ones are actually costing you when you avoid them, and I'm gonna put a real dollar amount on it. Two, how to introduce them to your team so the conversation lands with trust instead of fear. And three, five questions that will tell you more about the health of your restaurant in 20 minutes than a month of floor observations ever could. Let's go. Welcome to the Restaurant Leadership Podcast, where we coach independent multi-unit restaurant operators to build systems that drive profitability and reclaim time so they can scale with confidence and spend their time and energy where they want to, not where they have to. I'm your host, Kristen Marvin, restaurant coach and author of Multi-unit Mastery. If you are an independent restaurant owner managing multiple locations, you know the chaos that comes with growth. Inconsistent execution across your restaurants, managers who won't take ownership, constantly answering questions your team should already know the answers to. You're stuck in your current role when you want to be playing a bigger strategic role as you scale. You don't have the right leaders in place or you keep losing them. And you're not sure how to find great people and actually keep them around. We work with passionate independent restaurant owners who found success with their first few locations and are ready to scale strategically. Our clients aren't looking to just survive expansion. They want to thrive through it. They're committed to developing strong leaders and creating exceptional guest experiences. Through the independent restaurant framework that we teach in multi-unit mastery, we coach independent restaurant groups to move from chaos to confidence by focusing on three pillars: people, process, and profit. You can grab a gifted copy of the book at irfbook.com. On this show, we bring you real coaching conversations, leadership strategies, and the frameworks that you need to lead like a CEO instead of operating like a worn-out manager. And here's the thing: coaching has changed our clients' businesses and can change yours too. If you've never experienced what it's like to have someone in your corner who actually gets the restaurant world, we'd love to connect. We offer one-on-one and group coaching. Head to kristenmarvin.com/slash contact for a complimentary coaching session and let's talk about what's possible for your restaurant group. Stop asking your managers, how's everything going? You already know what they'll say. Fine, good, all under control. My favorite line to use was nothing to complain about. They're not lying to hurt you, they're lying to survive. Today we're talking about one-on-ones, the most underutilized leadership tool in restaurants, and why most owners are leaving trust, talent, and serious money on the table by avoiding them. I have not always been a fan of one-on-ones. I struggled with them a little bit. I am an introvert. And so when I was when I joined a um a restaurant group and I was taking over an existing restaurant, I was asked to do one-on-ones, and I didn't understand the why behind them. I didn't see the value in them, and I just didn't know what questions to ask. I thought, based on the experience that I'd had up until that point, that I was going to get to know the team by working side by side with them, feel their energy, understand their level of excitement, and it was comfortable for me to have little conversations with people and little tidbits around being busy during service. So the thought of sitting down in a booth with someone and asking them questions, which in the beginning to fully just connect with them and get to know them, asking them personal questions felt really uncomfortable to me because I had come up in a fine dining background where we kind of left our shit at the door. And when we were at work, we were at work. And so to say it was uncomfortable for me was an understatement. And it really impacted my relationship with the team or lack thereof and the way that I led, I ended up turning over a lot of that team instead of building connections. Now, the connections I did build with those, I will say, many of those people I still talk to five to ten years later. Um, but it took me a while to kind of come around to this. I think the shift for me happened when I really saw the impact of these great one-on-ones with other managers around me doing them. When I actually got the courage to get uncomfortable in my leadership and sit down and start coaching managers and having one-on-ones, that gave me the comfortability that I needed at the time as a leader to then be able to sit down with any staff member across any of the six or seven locations that I was managing and be able to connect with them on a deeper level. What I realized once I made that mental shift and kind of get out of my own way was that when I sat down with people and I honestly asked them some questions, and I'm gonna talk to you a little bit about the about what questions to ask at the end of the episode, I was so surprised how open and honest and transparent they were with me. They they didn't care or know necessarily a lot of them if I had an agenda, and sometimes I didn't. Sometimes I just wanted to check in. Sometimes I was looking for something very specific, um, whether that be positive information about the business or diving into something negative. Um the regret that I have now, I mean, because we we work with so many restaurant clients on how to conduct really effective one-on-ones. The regret that I had is that I didn't do this sooner sooner in my career. And I and I wasn't asked to do it the first 10 or so years I was in the business. Um, but I wish that I would have taken this leadership opportunity on and gotten really comfortable with the dis with the discomfort. I think I missed out on understanding what the problems were in the business, being able to solve more problems, make a larger impact, develop stronger relationships with the team, and get more buy-in when I was trying to roll out new changes in the business. So let's talk about the$75,000 problem. The reason why I mentioned this is because I've had two pretty key conversations in the last couple weeks where this has really been top of mind, which is why I wanted to talk about this on the show. I talked to an owner the other day who said they're they they are thinking about raising prices for the business. They have um they have two restaurant locations and they're struggling with rising costs, rising labor, uh, as everybody in the restaurant industry is. And I started to, I really wanted to kind of seek to understand why they were wanting to raise prices because it's a risk, right? Every guest right now is so price conscious. You see it in fast food. I know Wendy's is doing a huge revamp right now, closing a bunch of locations and focusing on the ones that are profitable because their traffic is down. You see it in fine dining where check averages are dropping. And I talked to a lot of clients about uh liquor sales that are dropping because people just aren't drinking as much, or uh they're choosing to drink at home instead of drink in restaurants because the margins are so great. So, anyway, this group that I was talking to when I was seeking to understand why do you need to raise prices, I asked them a bunch of a bunch of questions because I'm just obnoxious like that, and it's the coach in me. I can't help it. But I asked them specifically how much turnover they've seen in their locations. And they said in one location alone, they lost 15 line cooks last year. Here's the thing 80% of restaurants fail because they don't have the systems, not because they have bad food or service. If you're ready to stop being the bottleneck in your own business and start building something that can actually scale profitably, I want you to put multi-unit mastery, my new book, directly in your hands for free. Go to irfbook.com right now and grab your copy. When you do, you're going to get access to some additional tools that are not available anywhere else. This is about building a legacy, not just another location. Stop putting it off and go get your book. Again, that's irfbook.com. We know that it costs about$5,000 per hourly employee when you talk about posting an ad, hosting job interviews, all the training, all the development, all the time that you put into that person, that person puts into you. It's about$5,000 per employee. So that owner lost about$75,000 last year just in line cook turnover. And I asked him if he did one-on-ones with those employees because I was asking why a lot of people left, and he said it was money. And that's always a huge red flag to me because people don't work in this industry because, or for any any in the industry or any job, because of money typically, they stay because of who they're working for. And if you have a strong bond with your team and you are investing in them and you are engaged with them, they are much likely to turn down a higher paying job somewhere. When I asked him if he did one-on-ones, he said no. And when I asked why not, he said that the people that come to work for them are not looking for a long-term job in the industry. They're just looking for a job. And that really hurts me on so many levels because I've always been a firm believer, and maybe I'm I'm naive a little bit here, but I've always been a firm believer that this industry is amazing. I know you can make a career out of it. I've seen so many people do it. I know how rewarding it can be, I know how challenging it can be. They're one in the same. But I worry about operators and owners having a mindset when they're bringing somebody on the team that this is just a job. Because that immediately stops their investment in that employee. And I think that that does a huge disservice to the employee. So I would challenge you to think about the way that you're looking at your team, the way that you're thinking about your team. And if if even if somebody says, I want to be an actor, but I'm just gonna do this right now because I like the flexibility and I like the money, that's fine. But you it doesn't mean that you you can't develop them, you can't retain them longer, you can't take the opportunity to make them a better employee on the way out the door than than when they enter the door in the first place. You could hang on to that line cook for an additional year or additional two years, or they could say, you know what, I love this industry so much, I love this team, I love the culture that we've created of constant learning, relentless improvement. I want to do this for the rest of my life. But if we don't take the time to actually sit down with them and get to know them and understand what drives them, what motivates them, and why they're actually working for that concept, we're doing them a disservice. There are five, at least five results that you can expect when you start to make the commitment to one-on-ones. Of course, you get better communication across your team. Lines of communication are opening up, you're building more trust between you and your people. Your identity, your ability to identify problems before they blow up in your face is really, really powerful. I I recently had a follow-up conversation with an owner who rolled out one-on-ones 90 days ago. And he said, Kristen, I cannot believe that I haven't been doing this for the length of my career. He said, The amount of information that's coming into me about how much people love their job, what aspects they really love, what they want to learn more about, and what's frustrating them is so important because sometimes they just need to vent or they just need to tell me, hey, I don't understand this, my expectations aren't, our expectations aren't aligned. Will you just explain to me why we're doing what we're doing? And they get up from the conversation and that's it. It, the um, any issue or anything like that is over versus not having that conversation, letting that employee fester. That employee goes to other employees, they start to, you know, have these nasty conversations behind your back. And then things really, really blow up, right? These conversations can really avoid that. Um so there's a it's a really great way to manage risk. There's a built-in opportunity here to develop your own coaching skills by asking really powerful questions. You don't have to have an agenda when you sit down for a one-on-one, but I would guide you and challenge you to come in with a few key questions that you can ask that are going to help you get questions, get the answers that you're looking for. Okay, so be really intentional about those questions. And again, I'm gonna give you some of these at the end. But like I said in the beginning, uh, how's everything going? Like I've had a couple managers that I've been coaching recently go, I am so I've got to stop asking that question because I'm getting fluff. The conversation doesn't go anywhere. So if you could ask more targeted questions, what do you want to learn more about? What do you find most challenging about this job? What do you want to learn next? Um, those are going to guide you in directions and build the foundation for you to really build individual development plans that support your business's growth and their growth as well. Um, I had the pleasure of working for a GM in Denver, and she was one of the best I had seen at holding one-on-ones. She was very diligent, very organized. She held specific time on her calendar to make sure that these got done. And once a week she would sit down with her team, and she had 30 to 60 part-time high school and college students as her team. And she would ask them, What are you loving about this job? What do you want to learn more about? And she would take that information and use it to really understand what attracted people to the company and how to hire, and what the next step in their learning path was going to look like. So if somebody said, I want to learn how to make this product, or I want to spend time on the line, or I'd like to cook for a day, or whatever, she wouldn't, she wouldn't put that onus back on herself to go, God, I've got more stuff to do. Um, I I'm this is too much work for me. She would immediately just pair them up on a schedule with a trainer in that area. And and then, and that was rewarding enough for that employee. And then you start to talk about the opportunity of cross-training, right? Which we know is a huge benefit for um for the restaurant. So it's just it just starts with little bitty conversations like that. But if we don't ask, then we're never gonna know, right? The most thing the one thing I think that most leaders miss when they start one-on-ones, is you get we we have these conversations, they understand the why and the buy-in, and then they run to their team. And we always guide them and say, wait a minute, like if you if you're gonna suddenly start going to your team and saying, we're gonna have one-on-ones, everybody's gonna think they're in trouble, right? I'm sure anybody, any of you listening to this have been in that situation before. You're like, oh shit, what did I do? We we only have sit-downs when things are bad, right? And that's really the point of this, is these one-on-ones should be more about positivity and development so that you can avoid having to have those conversations at the end. Again, if your employees are engaged and they're motivated, they like that what they're doing, you're gonna have less of those performance issues. We all hate having crucial conversations, they're the absolute worst part of the job. So, this is a very much more of a pre a proactive approach to leading versus the reactivity of having to manage the situation, a negative situation in the moment. Being really transparent with your team when you start one-on-ones is really, really important. Tell them why you're doing this, you know. Let them know. Like we want to, we want to get a better understanding of how to support you. We want to know what's working in the business and what's not working. Um, this is not a performance conversation unless we are communicating that it is, but so it's more built around feedback. You know, I had a conversation with somebody on LinkedIn the other day that said, I even go so far as to ask people what the what they feel about the business model, how we've built out this structure before we even go duplicate and open another restaurant, because I want to know how they feel about the space in the server station. I want to know how they feel about the space in the beverage station. Um, is you know, the silverware rolling station, all these things, does the restaurant flow the way that we want it to flow? And what operational improvements can we make before we open in the next one? If I was a young manager or server and somebody had asked me that, I it would have blown my mind, but it would help me understand and value that that that team actually values my opinion and they value the work that I do. And that would have challenged me to continue to see things in a little bit of a different light and to bring more solutions to them during the conversations. The the one conversation that you have up front with your team about one-on-one, about one-on-one, really changes everything about how they receive the invitation. So you gotta break down those walls, you gotta break down that fear and those barriers before you get started. So, how do you actually get started? You've you've made up your mind, you know that these are really good for the business, but the main thing that bumps up is time, right? How do we make more time for this when we've got a million other things going on? When people tell me that they don't have time to do one-on-ones, that tells me that those people are not invested in their team. They're not invested in learning, they don't want to hear what's going on. Again, I have been in a position where I have purposely avoided staff meetings because I knew that there were frustrations and I didn't want to hear it because I couldn't handle the feedback at the time. We were in the process of doing a remodel in the in the restaurant, and it was there was just too much stress going on. And it was the opposite approach I should have taken. I should have listened to those employees, let them voice what their concerns were, and then worked a plan with the team in order to move forward together instead of thinking that it was all on my shoulders. So start with 15 to 30 minutes once a week. That's it. You don't need a full hour. You will have teammates that want to talk more than others. And so you'll just kind of feel that out as you start to do these. Start with your managers first because the whole goal with these is you becoming an expert with one-on-ones with your management team, and then ask your managers to start doing this with hourly employees. And you can break up. We used to do this. Uh, the newer managers that were on the team would take the newer employees and the more um more senior managers would take the veteran employees that were that could sometimes be challenging or maybe have some feedback. Again, if you haven't had these in your industry in your organization before, the first couple are gonna get clunky. They're gonna feel clunky, you're gonna get a lot of information, you're not necessarily gonna know what to do with that. Um, make a list and make sure that you're rotating through your team so that no one falls through the cracks. There's nothing worse than having this kind of blow up and somebody gets missed, and then they think, well, this isn't fair. I'm not getting my full attention of the management team or the opportunity to speak my mind. So, so protect that by just organizing yourself. Um, like I said, once you become the expert, then start. To teach your team how to do the same thing. And you don't need a fancy system. Take notes. Um it I love when when I see somebody writing something down because to me that means that there's a moment of insight, there's an impactful moment that's just happened for them, and they want to take the time to capture that. So do that same thing for your team. Go through those one-on-one notes with your management team and your weekly operations meetings and talk about the common themes that you're seeing pop up so that you can start to build some additional systems or support into your organization to retain your team and to build them and develop them. Consistency is key. So make sure that you are holding these. Don't reschedule them with the team. Don't make them feel like they're important up front. And then, oh, you know what, we just don't have time for this now. We're gonna move the meeting or we're gonna cancel. Be consistent, show up consistently for them. So, what questions do you ask? There's many, many, many, and we're happy to help you with this because they do really depend on what specifically you are wanting from your team. But let's talk about five that are really, really important. And and again, you'll you're gonna kind of feel out if you want to keep it positive, if you need to go a little negative sometimes, and who you can go negative with that's gonna be constructive. And we can talk more about that negative feedback and what to do with that as you start to roll these out. Because there's one important thing that you can, one important expectation you can set with your team that can shift everything here. So it doesn't feel like a bitch session. Um, so the first question is what's one thing that frustrated you this week that I should know about? This is important because it really surfaces any operational issues and gauges the emotional temperature. Again, people sometimes just need to, especially women, we just need to voice what's going on that helps us process our emotions and process the thoughts and allows us to move on. And sometimes that's it. The second question was what decision did you have to make that you weren't sure about? This one is really cool because it reveals where your team needs more clarity or confidence. This may be a retraining opportunity for your team. This unveils some development opportunities. This one helps them build their confidence. Um, and chances are there are other people on the team that have the same answer here. And so you may just need to take some time and reset expectations. The third one is is there anything that you stop bringing up because nothing changes? This one can really be a gut punch, so you gotta be ready for it. And I would start this question with people that you really trust the most on the team. If you struggle with feedback, you got to be really mindful of that. That's one thing that I've also struggled with in my career because I took everything way too personally and let emotion get in the way of that feedback. And so just be mindful of kind of what level you're at. Um, this question should be a gut punch, though. It is by far the most important one on the list. If you have heard from an employee that there is something that they're asking for, a promotion, a performance review, and you say, Yeah, yeah, yeah, we'll get to it, we'll get to it, we get, we'll get to it. And you haven't had that conversation, it doesn't mean that they're gonna forget about it. It's still top of mind for them. So the longer that you avoid those things, the more damaging they can become. So again, just just be honest here. Uh, the fourth question is what's one thing I could do differently to support you better? This again opens those doors to feedback, builds psychological safety, models, models vulnerability, which is such an important leadership skill. Typically, when I've asked this question of teams, um, they have a hard time answering it. And so I typically ask them to think about it when we're when I don't put them on the spot and then come back with some ideas. And then typically they do. So sometimes, again, until you get really comfortable with doing these one-on-ones, it may take some time for them to think strategically about what they really need in the business. The last question is if you were thinking about leaving, would you tell me why or why not? This is the question that most leaders are terrified to ask, and the one that really tells you everything. Again, this is this is where trust really, really shows up, right? You're kind of you are giving that person permission to tell you if they're thinking about leaving, and you're opening the door for them to be able to come to you if they have some grievances, so that hopefully they don't get to the point of leaving before they come to tell you. That's again, that's what this is all about. So let's talk a little bit about impact and results here. One one case study I'll share with you is six months after implementing these questions, we had a client that had zero manager turnover. He actually knew what it what was happening in his restaurants. There was a there was no communication between him and the managers. He wasn't doing these one-on-ones. There were no expectations set in terms of accountability or scorecards. So the managers were just kind of managing whatever they could find and also trying to lead as best they could without any really clear focus or roadmap. And so people were constantly wondering if they were doing a good job or not. They didn't know where they stood, they didn't know if they were going to get a promotion. There wasn't any set structure in place for reviews. The owner just did them whatever he wanted to. And he was giving people raises whenever they were asking for it, which was, we know, is really, really dangerous because he he wasn't budgeting for that. He had no much, he had no idea how much money he was spending in the business. So anyway, these one-on-ones really gave him a lot of information as to how to better take care of the team, how to hold them accountable, and just opened up lines of communication for the business. Um, the goal here is to never lose anyone, right? I know that that's not going to happen, but ultimately you want to create a space where people can tell you the truth. And then once you're in that space, everything else follows. And you can do that by spending 15 minutes a week with one person on your team to start to build that trust because it takes time. Um I would love to challenge you. If you're listening to this and you're intrigued by the one-on-ones, you understand the value. Pick one person on your team and schedule 15 minutes this week. Ask at least two of the questions and just listen. That's another beautiful thing about these one-on-ones. You don't have to have solutions, you don't have to have answers to any of these things. Just go in and ask questions, carefully listen. Don't react, don't get defensive. Just take some notes, process this feedback, put it away for the night, go home, read it again the next day, bounce some ideas off some other managers, ask them what they've heard. Um, and if you need clarification, go back to the employee and say, hey, you said this last time. I want to dive a little bit deeper. Help me understand what's really going on here. And what do you think the solution is here? It doesn't have to be, if there's a problem, it doesn't have to be all on you to solve it. Um, again, this is a collaborative team effort. If this episode resonated with you and you won some support building a one-on-one practice across your leadership team, reach out to us at columbinehospitality.com. This is exactly the type of work that we do together. And again, what this does is open up so many channels of what the business needs in order to grow. So once you get this foundation built, the you you can fly. This is such an important practice. I thank you for listening. I would love to hear for any of you that are taking this challenge what information you took away from these one-on-ones. And you can email me at Kristen at call of mindhospitality.com. I would love to celebrate this moment with you. Once you start these, though, again, make sure that you're consistent with them. So start with one person, get in on the schedule, ask these powerful questions, and report back and let us know how it goes. Thanks so much. Have a good week.