Christin Marvin: 0:08

Hi everybody and welcome to the no Hesitations podcast. I'm your host, Christin Marvin. With Solutions by Christin, I partner with companies to accelerate their leadership development internally so they can increase retention and operate thriving businesses. I talk about all things leadership, successes, challenges and every topic in between, with the goal of helping you become a better leader. Subscribe or follow and join the conversation each week wherever you find your podcast, because there's no time like the present to listen in and level up. Today, we've got an incredible guest joining the show, Tatiana Timmins. Welcome, so excited to have you here. We are going to be jumping into a coaching session today. Tatiana and I have been working together for quite some time and we always have a blast together when we do this, so can't wait to introduce you to some more coaching today.

Christin Marvin: 1:02

Tat is a program specialist within learning and organizational development with the Eliassen Group. She started as a recruiter associate, worked her way up to lead a recruiter and has made the switch to learning and organizational development in June of 2023. Her mission is to empower and uplift new recruiters, equipping them with the skills to shine in their careers. Prior to the Eliassen Group, Tatiana was in the hospitality industry for 17 years. She's always had a deep passion for training and mentoring and empowering people in recognizing their truest potential. She lives in Denver, Colorado, with her husband and 65 plants. I did not know that value until just now. It's incredible. And she's always amazed by the incredible wonders of nature. And I will add that she does an incredibly stunning job of capturing those moments of nature and all its glory in her wonderful photos. So thanks for being here.

Tatiana Timmins: 2:03

How are you? Yeah, thank you so much, and I think I have probably like 64 plants. Now I need to update my LinkedIn profile, okay.

Christin Marvin: 2:11

That's. I think I have 10. So that's, that's incredible. They're a commitment for sure. Yeah, they're. They're beautiful. So welcome, Super, super excited. Anything you need before we get started.

Tatiana Timmins: 2:23

Nope, I got my water, I got my stone and my fidget and I am good.

Christin Marvin: 2:29

Okay, I love it. What is on your mind today? Where?

Tatiana Timmins: 2:33

are we going, Goodness? Um, well, I just got back from Boston. It's always such a high when I go out to Boston and, um, you know, I'm with my team. I get to be with my team, um, and and train some of the new recruiters coming in. So, um, yeah, that's. I'm just coming down off of a high right now. Um, where would you like to go, Nice?

Christin Marvin: 2:56

try, nice try. Say a little bit more about Boston. What's there for you in addition to your team?

Tatiana Timmins: 3:06

Yeah, um. Well, like I mentioned, I get to train new recruiters. This when I go to Boston twice a year, we um, like we're retraining people that have graduated the program, you know, six to 12 months after they graduated. Um, so it's just really exciting to be live and in person, rather than you know, seeing people through a video. Um, yeah, it's kind of like our quote unquote Disneyland, um, so I'm just, yeah, just just living on that high right now. How does it relate to Disneyland for you? Um, because Disneyland is fun and it's exciting. What else? Um, there's definitely roller coasters. Um, you just get this adrenaline when you, when you get to teach people, um, which is what I really love.

Christin Marvin: 4:07

What does that adrenaline feel like for you, emotionally, physically, um?

Tatiana Timmins: 4:12

heart pounding Um happiness, joy.

Christin Marvin: 4:20

Yeah, I don't know, your eyes are kind of I know listeners can't see this, but your, your eyes are kind of wondering off up and to the, to the left a little bit. What are you? What are you looking for?

Tatiana Timmins: 4:32

Um answers. It's like I I've learned that I really just like I have to like think about what I want to say before I say it. I can't just like come up with something like quickly, and so when I look up, um, I'm, I'm searching my brain for, for answers.

Christin Marvin: 4:59

How does it serve you to slow down and search for answers before you speak?

Christin Marvin: 5:10

I mean it helps me to not say things that I regret, not that I would say anything that I regret right now, right Cause like we're talking about something like really exciting, but um, yeah, we have talked about this subject quite a bit over the course of the last year that we've been working together and you having having a hard time finding words has been, in my experience with you, very frustrating. You've been challenging yourself, kind of beating yourself up about that. Yeah, something's changing here.

Tatiana Timmins: 5:47

Yeah, what is it? Probably acceptance. Acceptance of like who I am as a human being and like being okay with that. Um, yeah, I I was very judgmental of myself. I think that I've like started to soften a lot this year. I've noticed a lot of softening, um, you know, since you and I have actually talked since January my goodness, it's been a year almost. Um, yeah, and there's, I mean just like an acknowledgement that like I am who I am and I'm trying to love myself through, through all of it, you know.

Christin Marvin: 6:32

How has that softening kind of benefited you and changed who you are?

Tatiana Timmins: 6:38

It's definitely brought more confidence for sure, um, you know, confidence in in being able to like speak up for what I want, speak up for who I am. Yeah, this is hard, like beyond a podcast. It's really hard, what's hard about it. I'm picturing all of the humans listening, and maybe some of them know me and maybe some of them don't know me. But trying to find the right words, but then also finding the right words for myself, but not necessarily for other people, if that makes sense.

Christin Marvin: 7:29

Yeah, how can you get present in this moment, right now?

Tatiana Timmins: 7:33

Well, that's why I have my fidget and my rock to help me remember to be present.

Christin Marvin: 7:41

Who's here right now?

Tatiana Timmins: 7:45

You and me and my plants, yeah.

Christin Marvin: 7:53

That is accepting that look like.

Tatiana Timmins: 8:08

Goodness, I don't even know. I wanted to. It's funny because I want it to be good. I want what you have to share and say to be good. You know what do you want? You can take out all of the you-knows too, because I say you know a lot, I've noticed I don't like to edit.

Christin Marvin: 8:35

Let's talk about. I appreciate you thinking about me and what you want from me, but what do you want out of this time together?

Tatiana Timmins: 8:45

I mean, I love our conversations. I love that they just go to a place that I don't even know that they're going to go to when we talk, Because usually when we meet up, sometimes I have an idea of what I want to talk about, but I just like to flow with it. I feel like when we chat we really flow together. That's kind of what I want is just to see what comes up.

Christin Marvin: 9:21

What's coming up now that you've said that?

Tatiana Timmins: 9:38

I don't know nothing really. I'm sorry, I feel so boring.

Christin Marvin: 9:47

You're fine.

Tatiana Timmins: 9:51

This is like really confronting, like being on a podcast is very confronting. I know that there's one or multiple saboteurs coming up for me right now. The judge definitely is like yo dude, what's going on? Why are you getting uncomfortable right now? We just got uncomfortable for the past three days. Give it a break, then maybe a little bit of fear as well as coming into this. I think live coaching is actually pretty cool because it brings up all of your saboteurs. It's kind of like public speaking Great.

Christin Marvin: 11:01

What are you noticing now?

Tatiana Timmins: 11:05

I have gedacht players Warörtov who gotberg had. Yeah, I could recognize my associate son. Yeah, I'm definitely noticing a little bit of like imposter syndrome coming in and like thinking about like how I should be, or maybe not necessarily how I should be, but maybe how the world like perceives me to be.

Christin Marvin: 11:43

Yeah, I don't know what's the opposite of the judge.

Tatiana Timmins: 11:52

Acceptance.

Christin Marvin: 11:57

Where's your level of acceptance right now?

Tatiana Timmins: 11:59

Probably like a 10. Probably like a 10.

Christin Marvin: 12:00

Okay, that's like a two. This is also a reoccurring theme that continues to pop up for you, right? Yeah, absolutely. Where do you want acceptance to be?

Tatiana Timmins: 12:37

It's funny, like what's coming up for me right now is when, like during one of our first conversations, I was talking about like this awkwardness and like we did talk about acceptance then too, and actually something that I was thinking about I remember a couple of weeks ago, when I made my appointment with you was accepting myself and my body as I grow older. Wow, so this whole conversation is going to be about acceptance. It's funny, like when I know that I have something to work on and I verbalize it. The universe is like here we go, let me put some obstacles in your path to help you learn this lesson really quickly or not quickly, but because it's been a year but just to help you learn this lesson a little bit more. And this is definitely like one of those like big obstacles that I am like moving through. I don't think. I think it's more of like moving through obstacles rather than overcoming obstacles.

Christin Marvin: 14:06

What's the next thing about you moving through them rather than going over them?

Tatiana Timmins: 14:10

So I think moving through them, you like, you embody them, they become you, instead of like moving around them, like I imagine, like hopping over them and not like getting anything from them, but like when you move through them it's like they surround you.

Christin Marvin: 14:35

Yeah, you're doing a lot Again. I know the listeners can't see this, but you're doing a lot with your hands right now and you're kind of visualizing what going through these obstacles is like. Is there an image or metaphor or color or something that you can put to that?

Tatiana Timmins: 14:48

Yeah, it kind of looks like just like a big rock, a big gray rock. I don't like a squishy rock, though, because you can't really go through a hard rock, but yeah, maybe like a darker gray squishy rock.

Christin Marvin: 15:09

How tall is that rock?

Tatiana Timmins: 15:12

I mean I can jump over it. It's probably like five feet, I would say.

Christin Marvin: 15:24

Where's the rock?

Tatiana Timmins: 15:25

In front of me.

Christin Marvin: 15:27

Inside, outside, what's the environment like around you? Just?

Tatiana Timmins: 15:31

white. It's just a blank canvas.

Christin Marvin: 15:34

So it's just you and this five foot squishy rock, dark gray rock. There's nothing around you, it's just simply you against the obstacle.

Tatiana Timmins: 15:41

Yeah.

Christin Marvin: 15:45

How are you going to move through it?

Tatiana Timmins: 15:54

Why are you laughing? Because I'm imagining the costume that I'm going to wear during my like, while I move through the rock. Let's talk about the costume. Okay, great, I'm wearing. I'm wearing a cape, like a superwoman cape, and red and blue are definitely my power color, power colors. Yeah, so I'm just going to power through this rock like I'm superwoman. Is that all you're wearing as a cape?

Christin Marvin: 16:32

No.

Tatiana Timmins: 16:32

I got to wear clothes too.

Christin Marvin: 16:34

What else? What else makes your costume up? Hmm, leather.

Tatiana Timmins: 16:48

Like leather tights and boots. Like imagine, imagine superwoman. Have you seen superwoman? Yeah, that Okay. Yeah, like badass woman charging through that rock.

Christin Marvin: 17:07

What's your describe the charging? What's your body language, what's your stance?

Tatiana Timmins: 17:14

Hmm, Like I can picture it. It's like a power stance, you know, like head held high, about to charge through, about to run through.

Christin Marvin: 17:49

Will you embody this for me right now? Can we do this stance together? Sure, okay, okay, we're getting ready to charge. Show me the charge stance Okay, okay. So arms are up. One's in front of the other. Head is up, okay. Left foot is forward Okay. What are you looking at? The rock. What's standing in between you and the rock right now? Blank space. What else?

Tatiana Timmins: 18:27

Fear, but also I think no fear is not standing in front of me. Fear is standing like right behind me and she's like are you sure you want to do this, but I do.

Christin Marvin: 18:43

It's interesting to me that fear is behind you. Is that fear pushing you? No, I think that's fear. No, I think fear is trying to hold me back. Okay, so maybe hanging onto the cape.

Tatiana Timmins: 18:57

No, she's just in my ear. Okay, like right behind me.

Christin Marvin: 19:02

What do you know about fear from the conversations that we've had?

Tatiana Timmins: 19:07

That fear can actually be an ally too. In certain situations, fear can be a friend. I've actually learned to accept some of my fear and I've actually learned to recognize when fear comes up. My mom gave me a bracelet has a little fake shark tooth on it to remind me of our first conversation about fear, when we made it into a shark. I still have the shark on my desk, reminding me every day that fear is okay and fear can actually motivate you to do things as well. I think fear is healthy. If we didn't have fear, I mean, we wouldn't be alive, right, we would just do stupid things. Yeah, so I've learned to befriend my fear, and I think that's why she's behind me rather than standing in my way.

Christin Marvin: 20:31

Great noticing. Yeah, let's charge through the rock.

Tatiana Timmins: 20:36

What's on the other side. Okay, you know what's really funny. So we've been talking about this rock and this fear and everything, and I don't even remember what the obstacle was that we started talking about in the beginning, like it's just this like picture of a super Tatiana about to charge a rock, knowing that, like on the other side, is something amazing, but I don't even remember what the obstacle was.

Christin Marvin: 21:18

Yeah, and I don't think the obstacle has to be one specific thing. It's just a metaphor for obstacles in your life in general. Yeah, okay, so what's on the other side?

Tatiana Timmins: 21:53

Definitely growth. Yeah, growth is on the other side, but no, maybe growth is like in it. There's a new version of myself is on the other side, because growth equals obstacle, growth equals pain, but on the other side of growth is liberation. There's a new way of seeing things perspective, maybe acceptance too.

Christin Marvin: 22:46

So if acceptance was at a two earlier in the conversation, what number would you label acceptance as now?

Tatiana Timmins: 22:55

I definitely label it higher. Let's go. I like a six or a seven or the two numbers that are popping up in my head.

Christin Marvin: 23:06

Why didn't you say four Because?

Tatiana Timmins: 23:08

that I don't know, it just doesn't. That number just didn't seem relevant at that time. Six and seven are the two numbers that, like I like, saw.

Christin Marvin: 23:20

What does this new version of you feel like with acceptance at a six or seven?

Tatiana Timmins: 23:29

That I still have room to grow, but I'm making progress. That's kind of like how I see this entire year. I've definitely made a ton of progress this year. I do know there's always going to be room for growth, though I don't think I'll ever be at a 10. I don't even think acceptance will be at a 10 ever.

Christin Marvin: 24:00

Let's go back to that moment where you were just talking about how much progress you've made this year. There was a complete energy shift with you and your confidence. You had this like side smiles, smirk. Your confidence just really showed up. Say more about that progress.

Tatiana Timmins: 24:16

Oh, my goodness. Well, I left a job that was no longer serving me. I am in this new position with these just badass bosses. I still wake up every day like pinching myself. My reality is this I'm kind of waiting to wake up from a dream. I just feel happy and content and excited and inspired for life. I've found my. I've re-found my creativity and my motivation to be with my friends and hang out with my friends on a regular basis.

Tatiana Timmins: 25:22

Goodness, so much has changed this year. I've done a lot of like, a lot of personal growth, a lot of like personal development. You know, at the beginning of the year I was making a ton of money and I realized that money does not equal happiness. I always thought that, you know, like I make six figures and I'll get there and I'll get happy, and that just wasn't the case. Like I was miserable and so I took a pretty big pay cut in my job. I took about a $40,000 pay cut. I'm granted I was making commissions, but still like it was a pretty big pay cut and I don't think I've ever been happier. And so, like, realizing that and everything that I've like done this year, like that's what makes me smile, that's what makes me like just appreciate this journey that I've been on.

Christin Marvin: 26:41

Is there some sadness or something coming up for you right now?

Tatiana Timmins: 26:48

No, I think it's more of like you want something for like a really really long time and you get that thing and then you just realize like it's not what you thought it was going to be, you know, and then you go back to wanting something. That's not what it was that you wanted. So, for example, like money right, my whole life I was like I want to make a ton of money, like money is going to make me happy, money is going to like fix all of my problems. I mean, yeah, I've hit off debt, which was fantastic and I'm super proud of myself for that. But man, just like live in the grind and losing myself in that process. Like, yeah, I made money, but I was miserable. And now, yeah, like I have to budget a lot more, which is fine because I learned how to do that right.

Tatiana Timmins: 28:08

But I'm just I don't know like I just I feel so much better now than January 1st.

Christin Marvin: 28:21

What do you need to accept in this moment, or want to accept, I should say, not need.

Tatiana Timmins: 28:29

What do I want to accept in this moment? What do I want to accept? What do I want to accept in this moment? Thanks for your patience. Thank you for your patience. Well, I want to accept this feeling. I want to like continue to have this feeling, you know, even when I'm farther into this position, knowing that I don't need a ton of money to survive. I don't need a ton of money to be happy. So I want to hold on to this.

Christin Marvin: 30:23

Yeah, I just need to remember this what's something you want to do, a commitment you want to make to yourself in order to hold on to this acceptance?

Tatiana Timmins: 30:51

I need to remember it. Somehow I do want to commit to myself that if I do ever find myself in a position that doesn't serve me mentally or emotionally or even physically, that I can leave it and I can find something else that will help me to feel like this, because you never know, like you never know what's going to happen. You know, things could like I could get laid off tomorrow and I might have to find another job at some point. Like that's just the reality of it, and if I do ever find myself in a position that I was in before that, I have the power to change it.

Christin Marvin: 31:57

What does that look like?

Tatiana Timmins: 32:01

What changing it Like? Changing it Like if I were to be in a position that I was in before and I needed to change it like. What does it look like to change it? How would you know? Oh, I'd like have panic attacks. I'd cry.

Christin Marvin: 32:16

So panic attack is a trigger for you physically, absolutely. Yeah, that something needs to change. Yeah, absolutely, because you had panic attacks in the beginning when we were meeting yeah, and now they're gone.

Tatiana Timmins: 32:31

Yeah, Ah, I haven't had a panic attack in like I don't know how long, at least since May.

Christin Marvin: 32:44

So let's put some action to this. What commitment do you want to make to yourself if you have a panic attack?

Tatiana Timmins: 32:52

Get the fuck out. Excuse my language Get out. What does that mean? Like I can't stay there. Like, whatever I'm in, I know that that's like my body and my soul telling me that this is not the right place for you. So I need to honor that and I need to get out and do something else, look for something else, because I think that there's a difference between, like the good fear and the fear. That's like trying to like tell you something, like shake you and wake you up, and I think I understand, like, what both of those fears are.

Christin Marvin: 33:34

So if you have a panic attack and you use that as a trigger, are you going to immediately quit your job, or is that going to trigger you to start looking for something, or what does that trigger? What kind of action is that trigger going to set into place for you?

Tatiana Timmins: 33:50

So I think that depends, though, right, because, like, is it one panic attack or is it like, were other things happening to elicit that panic attack? I definitely have to see, like, how my energy was, so I'd also be too tired to do anything, be too tired to do yoga, be too tired to hang out with friends, be too tired to do the things that bring me joy, so all of that together. Then I would have to look and be like, okay, this is not for me.

Christin Marvin: 34:32

And is this something you can do on your own, or do you need an accountability partner?

Tatiana Timmins: 34:41

I could definitely recognize it on my own. I guess in that moment I might need an accountability partner, because I would definitely seek advice from friends or coaches.

Christin Marvin: 34:58

Yeah, somebody that you would seek advice from specifically.

Tatiana Timmins: 35:03

I have a couple of really good girlfriends. Well, first and foremost Pete's my husband, but then I have a couple of really good girlfriends that I could seek advice from, for sure.

Christin Marvin: 35:13

What would it look like for you to have a conversation with them after this call and say hey, I recognize that panic attacks trigger some things off. If I ever have one again, can I let you know and will you help me get curious about what's going on in my life and what needs to change?

Tatiana Timmins: 35:33

Yeah, absolutely. They would put on their boots and their capes and superwoman costumes and stand right next to me.

Christin Marvin: 35:43

And then you could figure out how to get through that rock.

Tatiana Timmins: 35:45

Yeah, with some friends.

Christin Marvin: 35:48

Okay, I think we're there. Yay, do you agree Anything else you need? No, I definitely think that we're there. Thank you so much. This is always so fun. You lean into this so hard and it's always a blast to play around and visualize with you, and it's an honor to work with somebody who is just so committed to personal development, and you've been on such an incredible journey and it's been absolutely a blast to be honest with you, so thank you for that.

Tatiana Timmins: 36:26

Thank you. It's definitely been a blast with you as well. Absolutely.

Christin Marvin: 36:31

Okay, we are going to wrap up this show, then. Everybody subscribe and listen each week wherever you find your podcasts, and be sure to follow me on LinkedIn at Kristen-Marvin, and subscribe to the Restaurant Solutions newsletter for more restaurant leadership tips. And if you're interested in coaching, feel free to call myself 719-494-6074. Thanks, everybody, talk to you soon.